Today I am getting myself organized into a routine of sorts. There are so many things I am thinking about now I am paying attention to everything that is going on. God is amazing when we allow ourselves to be led by the God in us we find that it is an easier path to walk. The ease comes from knowing that everything that unfolds is for your good. I look at where I am today and I can't say that I had any idea that this is where I would be. I have had guides along the way that have reminded me that I am on the right track, I suppose that is why I am in a calm state in the midst of the world around me.
I believe that life is about putting everything where it belongs, in its place, when you remove all of the clutter its easier to see all of the problem areas. It's not about trying to fix everything all at once, its about knowing what is wrong and what it takes to make it right. The process of healing is as important as the healing itself. Once you figure it out for yourself its about applying it to the different areas of your life that need attention, fixing, healing.
I started this year with a plan for my vision my business, We have been living in Faith for a long time moving in the direction of inspiration. on January 4, 2012 my husband was called to be with his father for a lung surgery, The surgery went well he was recovering, when all of the sudden he had a Stroke. This Changed EVERYTHING. Tom has been left paralyzed on his right side and unable to speak. My Husband and I decided to move to Fontana to take care of Tom's affairs while he is in the Hospital. The family that Tom has are his 2 children My husband Mike and Sister Torrye. We have no idea what is going to happen we just know that Tom's life is headed for a LONG road of recovery and we have chosen to be a part of this Process.
The challenge that I am experiencing is the emotions that are involved for me in this situation. I have known my Father in law for over 15 years, I never thought that I would be involved in his life in this capacity. We have always had a very friendly relationship with visits on special occasions and semi frequent calls. When I first saw him after I arrived to Fontana, I wasn't sure what to expect, when I saw him he looked Alert, relieved, happy, he smiled when he looked at me. But it wasn't the same person, something was different. I asked him if he knew who I was, he nodded his head yes and I broke down in tears. I was surprised at how I felt. I hadn't spoken with him before the surgery. I had a disagreement with him back in August and we had not talked since. I wasn't mad or angry, I had just decided to pull away from a situation that involved my husband and his father so I was in neutral so to speak. Seeing him with the inability to communicate just broke my heart. He looked as if he wanted to speak but all he could do was look at us and cry.
My prayers when he went into surgery where that he come out enlightened with a new zest for life and the desire to mend broken relationships. I know my prayers where answered although his outcome seems like a curse, he can't Walk or Talk we think and believe that he understands what is going on but we don't know for sure. What I do know is that EVERYTHING that happens to us is for OUR OWN BENEFIT so I have to look at Tom's situation as Necessary. I know God is Working.
This has changed my world in so many ways already, My daughter is with her grandmother she just turned 14 on January 29th she has chosen to stay with grandma to finish Jr. High and to keep some sense of Normalcy to her life. We just moved from LA to Sacramento 5 months ago, moving her again was not something we wanted to do. We stopped our Daily show, My priorities have changed, there is a life in the balance and I am connected to it. Now my challenge is to be supportive in this mission and incorporate the situation into my life allowing it to flow with out any Fear or Doubt.
I know I am prepared for this because it is happening now. I always ask God to drive, I'm just the copilot, when God directs a turn, I don't question it, I look at what's in front and around me, I adjust and keep North. The lessons and the Blessings are in the process of moving forward, knowing that DOES NOT make it Easy.
I Accept this challenge and will come out of this Stronger, Wiser and more in LOVE, That alone is worth every moment!
The Process of Change is what we are all experiencing is the change for the better or the worse? That reality is based on how we handle each moment. I pray for constant clarity so that I am always equipped to make decisions that coincide with my desired outcome.
Today we will be going to the hospital for a visit and to take care of business I am in the MOMENT living life Fully aware that My CHOICES in LIFE TODAY Determines my Fate Tomorrow.