Yesterday I spent the day in HELL, I got myself there and I Took Myself OUT!
I am going through the biggest transition of my LIFE, The Dynamics of my family structure have changed, I am moving out, my business is growing. Let me go back to the word CHANGE because as I write this the word CHANGE is what snaps at me. My life is changing and it is so UNCOMFORTABLE it hurts like a BIAOTCH. I am learning that Pain is not necessarily a bad thing we can lessen the impact by how we react to it.
Everything I ever feared is being manifested in my life RIGHT NOW. Everything that I believe is being challenged. I Always claimed to be FEARLESS, I thought I had conquered all of my fears. I used to have a fear of being alone but I got over that too, so I thought. I didn't think my relationship would end but it did. That's when I realized Dang I'M SCARED! I guess I didn't get over that after all. I panicked cause I wasn't prepared for it. I know I have all of the tools that I need to deal with a crisis, shoot, last year we got evicted and made it through that in a beautiful way. But this was different, this is my family my foundation my partner of 20 + years, it feels like DEATH! cause my life won't ever be the same!
Of course it won't it's not supposed to... EVER! when it stays the same your DEAD!
Change doesn't have to be a bad thing. I can take myself right back to that feeling of Pain and death with just ONE THOUGHT, I can do the same with an opposite thought. However knowing that doesn't make it happen You are the Vehicle, You make the choice. You have to KEEP making the choice. That is the biggest lesson in this for me.
I Chose to take myself to hell. As I spent the day in Hell, I was submersed in lower vibratory thoughts and questions. When you ask your mind a question its' job is to search for the answer, so if you are asking negative questions your mind will be basking in an array of low vibration thoughts to match that low vibration question. Me being an action kinda girl, I couldn't just sit in hell and dwell, I had to keep That energy going, so I acted on my lower vibration demands. I started to do things that would keep me in that ENERGY field. I did that to myself, No one did anything to me. My experience in hell are the result of my choices.
Today I feel Magnificent and strong. My EGO is AMAZING! lol it will always take me to places that I need to go so that I could get the full experience of what I need, to EVOLVE my SOUL. My EGO only exist here in the Body of Mari Torres it is NOT who I am. My EGO is my teacher and it knows the path to hell real well. So as I go through this Journey I remind myself that my power is greater than ANY Power that comes against me. We become that POWER against Ourselves. I KICKED MY ASS yesterday. I have to make the choice to exercise that power in a positive direction ALL THE TIME.
I Learned, I am Never alone God sends me Angels all day. I always get what I need. I also learned that what I think I want is not always what I need. I get messages that bring me back to NOW. I know that all of the people in my life are my soul mates, every last one, even the ones that carry an opposite frequency, if it is in My reality it is FOR ME I attracted it good, bad or indifferent!
I got so many messages yesterday, Ms. Smokey posted this one:
From The Secret Daily Teachings
There is a difference between feeling gratitude and appreciation for something, and feeling attachment to something. Appreciation and gratitude are states of pure love, while attachment contains fear - fear of losing or not having what you are attached to. When it comes to something you want in your life, appreciation and gratitude attracts, and attachment pushes away. If you are feeling afraid that you will not get what you want, or losing what you have, then you have attachment.
To remove the attachment, keep shifting yourself into a state of appreciation and gratitude, until you can feel that the fear has gone.
May the joy be with you,
I am learning everyday, Every Lesson is a Blessing!
This is the story of our eviction
For those of you who watch the show please know that Mike and I have each others best interest at heart we have great love and respect for one another. We appreciate all of your concerns and prayers we hope that you continue to support us in our independent endeavors.